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December
1, 2010 - UnHappy
Anniversary.
Today is the one year anniversary since arriving in Japan.
This is my fifth time in Japan, and at one year, the longest
of all the trips. Things certainly did not work out as
planned with the house turning out to be much more of a mess
than anticipated. Working alone for one year now repairing
and replacing almost everything and still not finished.
Aside from a few projects, including the finish floor
coverings on the first floor, the house is mostly complete.
All I can say is I am extremely tired and do not ever want
to go through this again. |
December
1, 2010 - Email
Message - Valerie.
Hi. I totally forgot it was Hanukkah early this year. I want to say Happy
Hanukkah to you. Really not sure about chat today. I was up the whole night
doing laundry because Shai threw up on everything. Akiko is taking the day off
to take him in to find out the problem. He has been sick for a couple weeks now.
Send email when you can.
Love, Dad.
December 1, 2010 - Email
Message - Jim, Linda.
Hi. I trust you guys enjoyed Thanksgiving as usual. Really thought about you a
lot and wanted to be with you for the holiday. Akiko really put in some effort
and made as close to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner as was possible in Japan.
Needed to substitute chicken for turkey though. Could purchase turkey online but
mega expensive and way outside the budget. We made a party a couple days later
with the usual crowd and a few new additions. It was lots of fun. Planning
another party at the end of this month. Kind of an end of the year party which
is traditional and companies in Japan. Should be quite a turnout.
Shai caught the flu a couple weeks ago. Akiko was sick for her usual couple
hours only the other day. Now I am in with the flu this week. This climate
really sucks but at least the house is comfortable this year from all the house
repairs. Last night Shai threw up all over the blankets. I was doing laundry
until 6 am to let Akiko sleep. It turns out she is taking the day off to take
Shai and find out about his problem.
Anyway, we did not realize I can only use my international drivers license for a
year in Japan. We thought it can be renewed indefinitely but the rules changed.
Now good for only a year. Usually takes a few times to pass the written and
driving tests. My license is good until the beginning of next month. Might be
back to using the train until this all is straightened out.
Keep thinking about you guys visiting Japan. It really would be loads of fun.
Send email when you can.
Howie, Akiko.
December 1, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I was up the entire night until about 6 am doing laundry and washing
blankets. Shai was throwing up on everything. Was doing laundry to let Akiko
sleep and thought she could work today. Anyway she decided to take the day off a
take Shai in to find out about his problem. Really tired now but need to leave
soon to take them in the car. I am really happy you are worried about me
anytime. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 2, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I really appreciate you worrying but everyone around worries way too much. I
am very straight anytime. If teaching was going to be a problem definitely I
would tell you. These things need to be my decision and not you and the
students. No way I am going to teach if it would be a problem for me, my family,
and the students. Again thanks but if I tell you one time please simply go along
with it. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 2, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I am not angry at all about this. Simply need to make decisions about my
things. If you and student are sick then it is your decision not to come to
class. Simply wanted to teach only an hour this week instead of a double class.
Was not intending to cancel class. You also need to realize I am not happy these
days and get upset easier. You should remember back when your marriage was many
problems. Now Akiko and I really not doing good. Many disagreements and not
talking much. Getting drunk every night. This is not the way I used to be. Many
years ago was very successful and could do anything. In Japan very limited for
many reasons. It is difficult to think this marriage will end but it is very
possible now. Today your timing was not good. Found out cannot renew
international drivers license. Need to take a written and driving test. We made
appointment for this afternoon. Wanted Akiko to take the day off but she would
not. She wanted to take off only half day. Now she is stuck on the train and
cannot come home because of the storm. In addition recently letting Akiko do all
the house stuff and paperwork and receipts. Today could not find my passport for
the appointment. Really losing control in this situation and not happy about it.
Really trying to be there for family but Akiko cannot do things in a good way
and the house is a mess anytime. Really need you to understand. You went through
a lot before and you know it makes everything else seem more of a problem. Send
email when you can.
Howie. |
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December 3, 2010 - Driving Test.
Yup the rules changed and Americans can no longer renew
their international drivers license as residents in Japan. I
needed to take a written test today and scored 100 percent
on what turned out to be 10 pretty easy questions. |
December 8, 2010 - Email
Message -
Timlin Family.
Hi guys. I wanted to send a Happy Hanukah email on the last day of the holiday.
Akiko is sleeping. Shai is complaining. Candles are dwindling down in the
kitchen. Needed to light the candles twice tonight to catch up. No idea it was
Hanukah until I received email from Valerie informing me about the beginning of
the holiday. Sure is early this year. Japan continues to be quite a struggle.
Things are getting better but now the temperatures are hovering around 32 at
night. Really looking forward to the day we are financially in the position to
move back to SD again. Hopefully all is well with you guys. Send email when you
can.
Hayman Family.
December 16, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I cannot let you know about tomorrow until late tonight.
Class will be no changes but cannot know about meeting you.
It seems like maybe Shai is getting sick again.
You know the way it is with kids.
Cannot plan anything.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 20, 2010 -
Email Message - Timlinz. Hey. I am looking
into many marketing possibilities on the Internet for my sites now. I think a
lot of them would be good for your business. I made a couple pages on my site to
file all this information and to keep track of all the groups I plan to join.
http://howiehayman.com/
http://howiehayman.com/resources.htm
http://howiehayman.com/resources-work-communities.htm
Pages kind of a mess since the sorting process is beginning now. You can visit
these pages and get some ideas. Akiko continues to work. Shai is finally getting
better. Really not warm these days and pretty much staying in the house. Send
email when you can. Haymanz. |
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December 23, 2010
- Trip To Nara
Park.
I
was trying to figure out what to do today and finally
settled on going to Nara Park. It turned out to be a pretty
interesting day. This was the first time for Shai to
actually play with the deer instead of looking at them from
the stroller. Aside from him falling several times including
once hitting his head on the concrete, it was a lot of fun.
We bought some senbei (rice crackers) which are sold
especially for the deer to eat. Shai received a pretty
decent head butt from one deer. Then we met a girl who had
the same first and last name as Akiko. She introduced us to
her friend who is Swiss and traveling around the world on a
recumbent bike. Pretty cool stuff. |
December 23, 2010 -
Email Message -
Yuya.
Hi. I want to let you know we are making a party tomorrow.
Date: 12/25/2010.
Time: 1:00 pm until late in the evening.
Location: In our home.
This is an American style pot luck party.
We would like you to come to this party.
Please send email when you can.
Thanks.
Howie.
December 24, 2010 -
Email Message -
Hi. I think you enjoyed your party tonight. Really looking forward to the party
tomorrow. Many people coming. This was an interesting week. I really want to see
you and talk about many things. I do not like when we are not contacting each
other. This was a long time with no email. Going to be online tonight for
awhile. Send email when you are online tonight. |
 December
25, 2010 - Holiday Party. Well
with the holiday season winding down, it was time for our
end of the year holiday party. We woke up to temperatures
hovering around 32 degrees F and were happy to see it
snowing outside of our house for the first time. Was not
enough for any accumulation but it was nice nonetheless.
This party began at 1:00 pm and lasted until late into the
evening. Many friends came and returned home during the
course of the day. We took a bunch of group pictures hoping to
get everyone in at least one picture. |
December 25, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I was really happy to see you tonight. I wanted to talk to you more. I am
worried if everything is good at your sister house. I am going to sleep now.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 26, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I think you already know you and your family are very important. You know it
is generally considered rude to ask someone to not invite someone to their
party. Basically I know you and I realize you would not ask me this request
unless it is for a very good reason. Want you to explain why you do not want him
invited. You know I want all of you to come and will do this if you want. Send
email when you can.
Howie.
December 26, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I read your email and want to thank you for being straight about all this.
Actually I kind of already figured out the problem from looking at everyone at
the party.
Really it is Mayumi husband problem.
He should be able to control himself with other people.
Even though this is my thinking I really understand about Japanese culture.
I know it is difficult for Japanese men to say no about drinking with other men.
Another point is I really like talking with Mayumi husband.
Katsuyasan was taking all his time at the party.
He was drunk too and acting very strangely.
Really the fact is you and your family are very important for me.
Talked to Akiko and thought about no more parties because of all this drama.
If no parties it is not fair to other friends.
Anyway I decided to continue to make parties.
I am thinking not to invite neighbor for many reasons and not only your
situation.
I want everyone to be happy and enjoy the party.
Everyone is adult and should control themselves but difficult when drinking a
lot.
Everything is going to be good.
Actually we want to invite only your family for dinner at our home.
You and your family were very nice to us this past year.
We want to show appreciation to all of you and invite you to come to our home.
I think about you a lot and want you to know and feel your importance.
Now I am going to talk with Akiko about all this.
After talking with Akiko then I am going to be online again to read your email.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 26, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I want everything to be good again with your family.
We all enjoy many fun times together.
Tell your sister to be easy on her husband.
He is a good man and supports his family anytime.
This was a mistake at the party but everyone should forget and be good again.
This is a new year coming and everyone should change and be good.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 27, 2010 - Email
Message -
Actually I am really not sure now. Me and Akiko really not doing good. No
fighting but not much talking. I pretty much gave up. Now focusing on work and
friends and beginning work towards selling the house eventually and going home.
Next couple weeks she will probably make plans with family. Decided not to go as
you know. Would like to spend time with you but Japanese usually with only
family. I do not want to be in the way. Really is up to you if you want to meet.
December 27, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ayumi.
Hi again. I think it is not possible for us not to talk. I really miss you a
lot. Actually I am enjoying Japan and friends and neighbors. Many parties and
really fun. Things with Akiko really not good though. Planning to eventually
sell the house and return home. Really better in many ways. I want to see you
before returning home though. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 27, 2010 - Email
Message - Marie.
Hi. I really needed to laugh when I read your email. Even though you and I spent
little actual time together maybe you know me too well. Yes I am in the midst of
a bottle, actually a pack, of California Cabernet. This was quite a find
considering this is Japan. Really delicious and relatively inexpensive. Anyway
you were absolutely correct. Things are not good. This house took a year to
remodel and took a lot out of me. In addition, problems with Akiko persist.
Issues which were present for many years were supposed to go away once we put
some distance between Akiko and the things which were bothering her in San
Diego. Being alone in this house together brought to light many things and now
we are struggling to work things out. Really not looking good though. Possibly
will sell the house at some point and return home. Now focusing on my career and
online work. Hopefully things are going well with you. Send an update when you
can.
Howie.
December 28, 2010 - Email
Message - Marie.
Hi. I think you really possess an uncanny ability for understanding many things.
Actually I wish it was as easy as ex girlfriends. I would simply discontinue
communication to make my marriage work. Problem is basically personality
differences. When we were in SD Akiko made a bazillion excuse why she was not
happy. I spent a lot of money, time, and energy to purchase this house and get
to Japan to get away from all the issues. As it turned out now we are together
with no outside influences and realize we do not fit. Although we plan to split
it will take a bit of time to sell the house. Really thankful though for my
friends like you who continue to be there for me even after many months of no
contact. You know I am drinking every night for the past year. This is very
unusual for me and is a direct indication of marital problems. Really looking
forward to returning home and relaxing. You really are a good friend. Send email
when you can.
Howie.
December 29, 2010 - Email
Message -
Ikuko.
Hi. I really envy you being able to spend time with family. I know if I was with
you now it would a happy time for me to spend new years with you. Today I spent
a couple hours working on making the house kirei again. I took the futon and
blankets to the veranda and put them outside. Now everything smells really good.
Then I went shopping with Akiko and Shai. We bought a lot and will go shopping
again tomorrow. I am trying to purchase many things and then wife does not need
to bring home with bike. Can only drive a couple more days. Going to be online
tonight working. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 30, 2010 - Email
Message - Rieko.
Hi. I really wanted to contact you much sooner. Worked on the house much of this
year and until recently I was not online very much. This house was a lot of
work. Really tired and within the next few months I plan to turn my focus away
from the house and back to my online work. Akiko is working full time now. This
means I am with little Shai from Monday through Friday. Anyway no doubt you are
enjoying the holidays. Happy New Year. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 30, 2010 - Email
Message -
Hi. I want to know if we can meet you at sister house. Really only a few
minutes. You and your family do many things for us this year and we want to say
thank you. Send email when you can.
December 31, 2010 - Email
Message - Jim, Linda, Adam, Jason.
Happy New Year at least in Japan. I spent a quiet evening at home watching TV
with Akiko and Shai. Maybe can chat this afternoon Japan time. It would be late
evening in SD. We are going out for awhile. Going to look for your email in the
afternoon. Send email when you can.
Howie, Akiko, Shai.
December 31, 2010 - Email
Message - Jim.
Hey we need to go to family house tonight. Probably leave at 4pm Japan time.
Going to try and find time for a few minutes chat in late evening your time. Let
me know if this works. Send email when you can.
December 31, 2010 - Email
Message -
Hi Howie.
Good to hear from you. How's little Shai doing?? Hopefully you and your family
are all doing good!
I am getting lazy to check hotmail often now...so sometimes i will reply the
mail a little bit late!
However, it is good that i check the mail today and it is still not too late to
say HAPPY NEW YEAR to you!!
Wish you a happy new year! Takecare!!
Winona. |
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December 2, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko.
Hi. I want you to apologize to the students and tell them it will be a regular
lesson.
We can do a double lesson the next week if they can meet.
This was a really difficult week.
Me and Akiko really not doing good these days.
No fighting but barely talking.
I am extremely tired from being up all night.
I was doing laundry many times and trying to get everything dry before tonight.
I am trying to support Akiko but it means nothing to her now.
Anyway planning to chat with Valerie tomorrow.
We need to talk about many things.
Really want to see you but not possible tonight.
I miss you very much and want to spend more time with you.
Really trying to hang in there in Japan but seems like a matter of time and
going to return to SD eventually.
Really only a few happy points for me in this country.
Everything else is difficult.
I really like you.
I am thinking about you anytime.
Going to continue getting drunk and watch football.
Send email to keitai when you can.
Howie. ********
Ikuko.
Hi. I want to thank you for the update about the students. Was really drunk and
was sleeping. Then woke up and watched a favorite show. Really happy your
thinking about me. For sure if we are together you can appreciate things I am
doing. It is too late for me and Akiko to be a good couple now. She does not
need anyone and really does not like me anymore. It is very sad but nothing I
can do anymore except hang in there and keep trying to build my business.
Someday I am sure going to return back home. It does not mean the finish for us.
We are going to be together anytime. Send email when you can.
Howie. ********
Ikuko.
Hi. I am explaining my thinking about you anytime. Really think you cannot
understand you are very important. We can continue to spend time together if you
want. Now focusing on my career and deciding about the next few months. Send
email when you can.
Howie.
December 3, 2010 - Email Messages -
Want you to go for a walk now. Meet outside in ten minutes then. ********
Ikuko.
Hey I really want to thank you for today. It really seemed like you were an
assistant in class. This lesson was pretty good and fun. Going to do this again.
It seems like you think differently about me now. Send email when you can.
Howie. ********
Hey I really do not want you to think too much. If we want to spend time
together it is good. Send email when you can.
December 9, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko.
Hi. I want you to know something.
You think when I am not sending email things are good.
Actually it is the opposite now.
Recently I am really not confident about my situation.
I am spending many hours on the computer and sorting files and working on the
sites.
Really trying to finish everything this month.
Then from next month can actually begin new projects and work on career.
Thinking about you anytime and you do not realize.
I am not sending email because you seem different since the night walk.
Maybe your thinking about me changed from then.
Nothing changed in my mind.
I want to spend time with you.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 12, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko.
Hi. Maybe we can meet this weekend. Akiko wants to take Shai out shopping.
Actually do not know when and it is only if Shai is better and not sick like
now. Possibly after class this weekend. Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 17, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko.
Hi. I can meet you for a few hours after class tomorrow. Some snack is good
enough. Will explain more when you come tomorrow. Send email when you can.
Howie. ********
Came home now. Walk into house.
December 27, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko.
Hi. I wanted to tell you we are beginning the process of ending this marriage.
From today going to be deleting some online projects. Even though I worked with
Akiko on some of these, a few of the sites are a mess and she worked on setting
these up and knows all the technological stuff. It is easier for me to simply
delete her work and begin again. This is only involving three of the sites.
Anytime Akiko is going to begin something and not finish. Next will be selling
the house which could take some time. We are planning to do things slowly and
finish everything in a good way. This really is awful but better for everyone
eventually. Please do not tell the students. Send email when you can.
Howie. ********
Ikuko.
Hi. I think this will be sad for many friends. We simply cannot stay together as
a couple anymore. You and I can keep in contact though. Send email when you can.
Howie. ********
Actually we do not officially say divorce but making step for this now. Already
taking sites offline Akiko was working on and getting ready to go back home.
This will take a lot of time to sell this house and do everything. Really do not
worry about me going back soon. Maybe takes a year to do this. Probably house is
not easy to sell. Send email when you can. ********
Hi. I am sure Akiko is tired of this marriage.
Actually family does not know about problem.
No plan in America.
Simply want to relax and be happy.
Send email when you can.
Ikuko.
December 28, 2010 - Email Messages -
Hi. I am updating the Japanese site now. Pretty much a mess during the update. I
talked with Akiko. Actually she will be staying in the house for now. We are not
going to be like a married couple anymore but will support each other and Shai.
Eventually the house will be sold but it will take time. Really nice to be able
to talk with you about many things. ********
Hi. I really want to stay with Shai. It would be extremely difficult to leave
him. It would also be sad to leave you. Really me and Akiko will not be stupid
about all this. Going to do things very slowly to make sure everyone is good.
Simply need to make some personal and work separation with wife now. Send email
when you can. ********
Hi. I know said this many times. You went though a divorce and you know it is
sad and you will try anything to make things better before deciding to split.
Actually me and Akiko take energy from each other anytime. It seems there is no
choice now. It is sad but in some way a relief for me now. Anytime waiting for
wife to finish many things but she cannot because of no energy. Need to be with
someone with same energy and desire. Send email when you can. ********
Hey I really miss you. Going to eat dessert then back online again. ********
Hi. I read your email and I choose another then. I cannot fit this culture. I
totally agree you. Need to be with a more Americanized Japanese. Maybe with an
American. I cannot do a Japanese style relationship. Been with women before who
are passionate and can express their feelings. Want to feel real good love
again. Want to hold someone and kiss someone again with feeling. Japanese couple
might be very deep but too distant for me to handle. Really looking forward to
going home. Send email when you can.
December 29, 2010 - Email Messages -
Ikuko,
Hi. I read your email about you spending time with your family.
Your email really made me think.
I was not going to Akichan family house because of sister again.
Then I realized it is not good decision.
It will affect Akiko and family.
Should not let sister make things awful for everyone.
Because of this I decided to go to house on January 1 for New Years.
Then going to go again on January 3 to meet Slovania guy.
Really want to change many things in a positive way this year.
Enjoy time with your family.
See you next year.
Happy New Year.
Send email when you can.
Howie.
December 30, 2010 - Email Messages - Ikuko. Hi. I want you to know something. I
am very happy to meet you. Time spent with you is very important to me. You are
very important. You are in my thoughts. I am looking forward to seeing you
again. I want to touch you and talk with you. I want you to think about me. Send
email when you can. Howie. ********
Ikuko. Hi. I really want to thank you for last night. Me and Akiko really not
talking now. We want to come to sister house for a few minutes today to say
Happy New Year. Your family is very nice to us anytime. Please send email when
you will go to this neighborhood. Send email when you can. Howie. ********
Ikuko.
Hi. I think you understand about many things.
Really learning from you.
I was very happy you were able to be there for me again last night.
I really enjoy spending time with you.
Send email to keitai when you come to this place.
Send email when you can.
Howie. |
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